A HAPPY PLACE

A HAPPY PLACE

My days are now somewhat occupied with talking to friends who have heard about my cancer and are calling to offer their support.  I spoke to Ronnie Buerger for a very long time yesterday.  She and her family had recently been through this with her stepdaughter, Jodi, who finally lost her long battle with breast cancer this past year, leaving three small children.  I had known Jodi since the day she was born, her father even longer.  He and I had met at Carnegie Mellon Univ. while in college, and I have known Ronnie almost as long (he lost his first wife shortly after his son, Andy, was born).  My ties with this family are strong and filled with memories and love.

Although it was quite cold here I took two walks with my trusty companion, Moses, (10 yr. old German Shepherd) - one alone, the other with some dear, and trusty local supporters, Dhyana and Anna.  We have a trip planned to Provence in May which I fully intend to go on (my oncologist said that would probably be OK but nixed my plan to take the mule trek to the bottom of the Grand Canyon in November).
That trip will definitely give me something to look forward to.

Such walks are very important to me, and to Moses.  However they seem to baffle my husband.  When Michael was here recently to join us when we went to meet the oncologist we came home afterward and were talking...  Bob mentioned that he didn't understand how I could complain of the pain and yet manage to take my walks.  That is when Michael quietly offered an explanation which hit the nail on the head.  He said "maybe that is her happy place," and he is right, it is (his is on a ski slope).  Walking, particularly when I am alone, is when I have a chance to think, to plan, to reminisce, or simply to enjoy nature.  Nature is my God, or to turn it around, God is my nature.  I would no sooner carry a cell phone, or even an iPod, on a walk than I would a computer.  My true mantra is really a quote from Henry David Thorough: "In Wilderness is the Preservation of the World."  So walk I will because it is truly my "happy place."

Chemo is scheduled for tomorrow, Feb. 2, at 1:40 p.m.

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Grim Nancy

"Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants"
                  Michael Pollan