DISCOVERY

One wonders how they might feel if they were diagnosed with cancer - breast, lung, pancreatic, liver, whatever.  In my case I felt sort of OK with it (breast cancer).  It was only a Stage 2 and my surgeon thought a lumpectomy would do the trick, plus, of course, the chemo and radiation that goes with it.  That was in 2007 and I got through it pretty well.  Losing my hair was really the worst part.

Jump ahead three years and I find that I am faced with it again.  Now it has mestastisized to my bones and liver and it is a Stage 4.  And this time I am not as blase' about it - as if anyone can really ever be blase'...  Last time, though, my surgeon removed the tumor and what she felt was a decent margin around the lymph nodes and I never really experienced any real pain.  I tolerated the chemo pretty well, never was so nauseous that I couldn't eat, and chalked it up to a medium-bad experience.  Now there is pain involved.  In fact, that is what triggered the visit to my doctor - I simply woke up one night and felt as though my bones were all achey.  When I look back on it, though, I realize that I probably had some prior signs - pain in my back usually late in the day, sharp pain in my coccyx area at times, sometimes a discomfort in one arm (all of which I attributed to "getting older").  But now the pain has gotten bad enough for me to have to control it with Tylenol and Ibuprofen; I wake up at night and have to take a second dose and I realize that this is going to be a whole different ball game than the first time around.

It also has started all kinds of alarm bells ringing, as I realize, and Kelley and Michael realize, that I won't be around forever.  Cancer is a "no guarantee" type disease.  I might beat it into submission, and then again I may not.  So as you have all heard a zillion times:  enjoy each minute, take time to smell the roses, etc., etc.  My priorities have now been re-shuffled, as they should be at this time of life anyway.  I need to give that a little thought.  My next post will probably be more on that theme.  In the meantime, here are two of my priorities...

Grim Nancy

"Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants"
                  Michael Pollan






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