THE Update...

Here you are, finally, the update of my last two weeks>>>>>>>>  Just click here:  http://wolfwomen.posterous.com/

UPDATE...

Since I have been a trifle "busy" lately (for the past two weeks, to be exact), I have been:

Transfused (2 units of blood) to get my hemoglobin
up a bit (that went up from 8.3 to 12.3)
But had my chemo cancelled twice because of low white blood cell counts (2.4)
Saturday night, Feb. 21 (and this is where things get a bit "hazy"), I went to Harrisburg Hospital Emergency Room and from there transported by ambulance to Harrisburg Osteopathic Hospital. The reason for this was extreme bone pain.(Harrisburg Osteo. Hosp. is considered Harrisburg's Cancer Center, ergo the reason for my transport there).
The next few days were spent meeting with the radiologist, Dr. Melito, and trying to control my serious bone pain. They didn't want to
release me until it was controlled so that I could be put on radiation which, it was felt, could be used to further control pain and get ultimately back to the chemo which was fighting my cancer. That took, I think, four days. 
On release from the hospital I was pretty drugged up with some potent meds: (OxyContin, both IR and EXT, something
directly into my port Dilaudin?, but I'm not sure of the name, Ciprofloxacin HCL (anti-biotic),Sennalax-S, Bisacodyl (suppository), Effexor XR, Vitorin, and IBUPROFEN.

That evening to tell you that I was a bit "confused" is putting it mildly.  Suzy and Bob, in an effort to give me some relief and clean me up after four days in the hospital without a shower, decided that a bath would be the best remedy. That, however, meant getting me up the steps which, from all accounts, was NOT an easy task. In the middle of all this Moses was beginning to feel his own pain and discomfort and would not leave my side, even as I tried to bathe.  They got me cleaned and pajamaed and back downstairs (I have no idea what time this was...) and from here it becomes a jumbled, confused mess -- doors opening and closing, Moses retching and obviously in serious pain as he went from corner to corner looking for a place to throw up and me in la-la land.  At this point I would have given $1M to just have been able to offer him some of the love and care he needed.  Anyhow, Suzy, having just been through this with her own dog, suggested taking him to the 24 hr.Vet clinic (once again,I have no idea what time it was), which she did.  A short time later we (or rather, Bob) got a call from her with a diagnosis of a flipped stomach i.e. bloat (not uncommon in German Shepherds) and a recommendation to put him out of his misery.  They could have opted for surgery, but the chances of that working were so slim that we (Bob & I) agreed. 

Why this should all happen in the middle of my own extremely serious cancer problems is beyond me, but it did.  This was a dog that had been my constant companion for years, a dog that had such an exceptional understanding of common words and gestures that it seemed uncanny.  I often remarked that he was smarter than me.  Yes, he lived a good life here, but, more importantly, he provided me with such companionship and trust that I was the lucky one.  Actually it was a two-way street -- we both gave, and received, and you can't ask for much more than that in a relationship.

The next morning when I awoke and the reality began to sink in I was incredulous that we had come so far, and made such a decision, just a mere few hours earlier.  I was jolted into the realization that I had lost the best companion I ever had and had not even been given the opportunity to say good-bye to him.  Closures are important and I will be looking for a way to make that happen in the near future.

Just a word about Sue, Moses' doggie-sitter...no one, other than Bob and I, loved him more and no one was more upset, other than Bob and I, at this sudden decision to put him down.  She had spent that afternoon with him playing frisbee, taking him for a walk, and then closing the door behind her, knowing that I would be home that evening.  She absolutely could not believe it when she was told that we had made that decision, or the reason for it.  She called me a few days later and I explained what had happened but she felt the same as I - "I wish I could have said my good-byes, even if it was necessary."

Now, almost a week later, I walk around an empty house and understand how much he meant to Bob and I.  Suzy, God bless her, took care of all the "dirty work."  It was she who took him to the vet; it was she who quietly removed his beds and dishes, and it was she who made the transition a bit easier for us. Now, instead of receiving notes of good wishes for my health, I am receiving sympathy cards about Moses. He had a lot of admirers: people who joined me on my walks; people who helped me with my garden and faithfully threw his frisbee for him every time he dropped it at their feet; Sue, who as I said helped with housecleaning chores but also began taking him home with her or staying with him at our house when we took one of our many trips; my military tenants who also came to know him and in most cases became his buddies; and finally, even the UPS man who, I know, is going to be very upset when I tell him.  Oh yes, and the two vets who were treating him (I just got off the phone with one of them) who recognized how very special he was and how special our relationship was.  That's a lot of people who could honestly call him their friend. 

Let's call it quits here.  I'll keep updating my experiences re my radiation and chemo, but for the present, things are getting better and I have much less pain, so there you are - PROGRESS! thanks in great part to my son and my husband and to Suzy, but more about that later...

Michael and Me

 


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Nancy's Meds List

 

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