TURNAROUND AND COPING

TURN AROUND...

I have finally restarted my chemo, now at the Harrisburg office of Andrews and Patel where I feel I am getting better, more personalized care.  It takes longer to get there, but I really do think it is important.  And I can report, happily, that it seems to be going well.  The only snafu has been my hemoglobin and need to get transfusions, which becomes a major problem because my "port" (the implanted device which enables chemo, blood tests, and transfusions to be done directly into my vein in my chest rather than poke me in the arm over and over until my poor veins can't take it anymore) does not work right.  I don't know what happened, but I have to sit in a certain position or even keep my head turned in a certain way.  That said, when I went for a transfusion this past week the nurses just couldn't get it to work right and finally had to do it through my arm vein instead and it ended up taking 5 1/2 hours!  5 1/2 hours of sitting in a recliner watching blood drip into you is BORING!

Tomorrow will be my second chemo and unless my white counts are low, I expect to be in and out of there in about 1 1/2 hours which isn't too bad.  I am finding that after the two days following chemo I begin to feel better and better and my appetite improves.  I had no incidents of pain this past week (YAY!!) so I am relying on Ibuprofen and Tylenol to keep me human.  Enough about that.  I have some other observations that are creeping into my little head which you may or may not want to read about...

SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR COPING

I have felt decent enough lately to actually do some shopping (online) and planning for some household sprucing up that needed to be done.  The simple task of buying something new, (hopefully flattering), and actually putting it on and wearing it is more important than you might think, especially when you look in the mirror each day as I do and see exhaustion and tinges of depression sneaking in. We need to get dressed up sometimes and know that life is not all jeans and a sloppy sweatshirt.  And sometimes we need to get out a china cup to sip that tea out of instead of an ugly old mug.  In other words, we need to do things for us too.

I read a pretty amazing story today in the NEW YORK TIMES Magazine section about a woman who lost her job as editor of HOUSE AND GARDEN magazine when Conde Nast ruthlessly closed up shop and fired everyone in a one-week period.  Her complete and total depression/adjustment/whatever-you-want-to-call-it was one for the books and took her several years but she pulled out of it and found herself, finally, saying "One adventure is over; it is time for another...I am growing into a new season."  Read it if you think it might interest you:  
I'm not sure why it resonated with me so dramatically but it did.  Maybe it is because we do move, somewhat imperceptively, through our lives from season to season.  How we adjust to those seasons can be life-changing.  You don't have to have a serious illness to open your eyes; you just need to be willing to move on and look around you.  I really do believe that we make some remarkable changes as we "mature," if that is the right word, and they can be extraordinarily satisfying in ways you might never have expected.

Grim Nancy

"Eat Food, Not Too Much, Mostly Plants"
                  Michael Pollan